Backing off from going all the way

Well.....I guess I deserved it. Got myself all aroused and horny and found my wife a bull to fuck her and cuckold me. Seemed a really genuine nice bloke who understood the need to ease us in, especially the wife's very tight pussy. He wasn't bad looking, younger than me and a big cock, 8.5 inches.

And here is the really nice looking lump of meat that was going to enter my wife at the weekend:

Why would she go off with him when she has my hot dick wating:

That bulls cock seems a good reason to cheat and an even better reason to cuckold a maggot sized hubby!!

Two hours before the event I bottled it. I just don't think I can handle seeing that monster cock slide into my beautiful petite sexy wife. There's an element of extreme turn on at times, but I also go back to the thought that it was just mine and my wife's. To say the least she isn't happy, because she had given up on the idea and I have managed to talk her back into the idea. I 80% believe that as I see another man slide into her for the first time I will feel the most amazing sensation of sheer pleasure and I believe probably orgasm immediately, but that 20% of fear and potential hurt is holding me back. As I sit and ponder my decisions over the last year, or should I say lack of decisions I always question am I a freak for liking the idea of a much better endowed and sexy man giving my wife pleasure, but I always conclude that in fact if every man who loves their wife was honest they would totally understand their wife wanting to do it and know deep down they would at least be interested to take a sneeky peek!

So there you have it, if I had started this blog earlier in this journey you would be able to see a catalogue of 'walk-aways' by me. There is a shining light though which is that it actually happened once, well to put it accurately the bull arrived, but my wife just didn't fancy him. So I can do it.......???